A lot has happened in recent months both happy and sad. Life sometimes takes left turns and it surely took a hard left this time. My sister lost her battle with cancer in January. I lost my best friend. To say losing her has rocked my life (and the lives of many others) is an understatement. There are no words.
Not long after the funeral I was asked if I wanted to contribute an essay to a book about gratitude. God does have a sense of humor doesn't He? I wasn't in a place of gratitude. Far from it. To be honest I was pretty mad God took my Sis. I was still mad about how things were handled. I thought my brother and I had been treated with great disrespect (albeit unintentionally) at the wake. I was just mad. Period. So the thought of me writing about gratitude was somewhat laughable. But a little voice inside of me encouraged me to say yes I would write an essay about gratitude. So I did.
Mired in grief and anger I didn't know what I was going to write and wondered if I was nuts to have agreed to write the essay. But then words came to me as I reflected on the conversation I had with my younger nieces ex-boyfriend at the wake. He told me how my sister had impacted his life and so many others for the better.
Sitting here by the lake reflecting on the last few months I realize God put the opportunity before me to write the essay. I realize God sat my nieces ex-boyfriend next to me at the wake and I'm sure God calmed my anger and helped me find a place of forgiveness.
And I know for sure I didn't write the essay by myself.
Gratitude is an essential part of life. But what is it? I ask you to consider it is a major part of the art of paying attention. When we lose focus; when we allow the negative to overtake our thoughts; we take our attention off the positive. Gratitude is as necessary to our lives as blood is to our body; as air is to our lungs. It is from a daily practice of gratitude that happiness springs.
The book of which my essay is part along with a lot of others will be out in December. I hope it blesses you as much reading it as writing the essay blessed me.
What a wonderful article Pam! Thank you for letting us know that we are not alone in our struggles being mad at God and forgetting what we should really be grateful for!
ReplyDeleteAs you know, last year I had quite a struggle myself...coming very close to cashing it in. But, I think that was God's way of telling me to slow down and take account of the things that are really important.
We also had a year of losses. And, I am watching as my Mother struggle with Parkinsons and the impact it is having on her quality of life after being such a vibrant active woman.
Since that time, I've changed my attitude toward working myself into the ground and have concentrated more on friends and family...the things that are really important.